Our One Common Trauma with Air Kraehmer

00:06
Hello and welcome to the VK Podcast. We'd like to say we're taking alternative health and wellness to the next level. We're making it anything but an alternative. Chris Hansen, my co-host is in Miami. We've got a guest in the VK Lounge today actually. And I'm Ryan Offredger, co-host. Hey, we've got Air Kramer in the studio. Hey Air, how are you? I'm fantastic.

00:36
You're looking, I love the red, you got rad, radical colors on. I'm seeing you. I'm like, I'm, you're already one of my, I'm in, that's like my color right there. I'm actually normally I wear red. I'm liking the aqua green, blue, whatever we want to call that. That's, that's in the radical family. And we're excited to have you on award winning author psychotherapy, MCS and a trauma expert specialist expert.

01:04
Error, so many titles, so many accolades. How did we get you on the show? How did we get me here? I walked in. That was probably the first step. Before that, I had actually learned a lot about Chris and his work. And we are both in the spiritual community down here in Miami and a lover of knowledge. So I have more certifications and degrees than any five foot nine girl probably should have. Ah.

01:34
We'll get into all that, but I do what I've read and what Chris has said. So we're excited to have you and Chris, how's Miami today? We got a nice sunny day here in Miami, baby. Everything is good. The vacay is looking good. What's that? The vacay lounge is looking good. It's looking, it's sunny in there. So I'm feeling good about it. Sunny and fresh air, baby. We're good. I know air.

02:01
Let's, I will say this. I grew up like an Air Jordan, like Michael Jordan fan. So like you had me with your first name anyway. I know it probably has nothing to do with Michael Jordan, but I'm just like, yeah. I start smiling when I say your name, which is a good, that can't be anything but a good thing, right? I always tell people when I first meet them that they can't remember my name. Just breathe.

02:25
And then when I see people that have the Air Jordans, I'm like, I own you because, you know, my name is on you. Oh, and are you wearing your Jordans today? I've got some, there are, these are Air Nike. So I'm owned. All right. Those worst things that began. Air, let's set the table for our audience. Let's talk about your journey a little bit. What got you here today? Your background, those kinds of things. And Kristen, I'll ask a few more questions. Yeah. So I'll give you the 411.

02:55
I actually grew up in the modeling industry. I am originally from a very small town and was recruited into the United States. I traveled all over the world modeling, so I've been to 47 different countries. I've lived in 10 different countries and I used that money to be able to go to college and get some degrees in there. So I have three degrees from my undergrad.

03:21
And I'm just really fascinated with how the body works, how humans work, behavior. And during my undergrad, I actually was a victim of human trafficking. So that came from the industry and really just transformed my life in a negative before a positive way. But after I was able to get rescued from that experience, I

03:47
Definitely knew that my whole life purpose was to help understand people, help bring healing to them and not just healing, but transform them from survivors to thrivers. And I use that money actually from my books, Model Stop Traffic and Trafficking Aftermath are my testimony of my story. And then from there, I went on book tours. I opened up a business called Flying with Air, which was herbalism and metaphysical based. And then.

04:17
We'll just keep going. It's like whole life. All right. So you were telling us about modeling career, human trafficking. You started your own business and you went to grad school. Let's touch back on the business. Cause you said you built a business, you sold it and that gave you the funds to be able to go pursue higher education. Tell me about the business. We've touched briefly on it. Obviously I'm wearing my crystal bracelets and stuff we talked about before.

04:47
Where did this idea come from? What gave you the courage to just say, all right, fuck it. We go, you were 21, right? I was a baby. So ironically, a lot of people these days want to go into entrepreneurship. But I actually was forced into entrepreneurship as a result of the human trafficking experience. When I published my books, Model Stop Traffic and then Trafficking Aftermath, it became like the sensation overnight of, okay,

05:15
What is human trafficking? It's in the modeling industry. I went to France and I spoke to parliament about it. I was part of the Model Alliance and I was sitting on New York tables and being like, hey, this isn't a real problem. Going back to normal era life, I wanted to be a doctor. Like ever since I was a little girl, that was my thing. I wanted to be a neurologist. And with that,

05:39
I was like, okay, I graduated. I have my health and human science degree. I have my organic chemistry degree. I have my nutrition degree. Cause all I did after my trafficking was dive into interpersonal work. I wasn't dating. I wasn't partying in college. Like I'm the girl with the book and the fireplace. That's me. With that, I graduated and I thought, wow, this was going to be fantastic for me. I'm going to go out into the world, start my new life chapters. And then nobody wanted to hire somebody if you Googled their name.

06:09
It said human trafficking survivor. And that became a real problem, especially as like Epstein cases became more popular and things just, you know, that would like make you more popular. It made me popular. It didn't make me very good for a lot of work corporate cultures. Cause I wanted to be part of the CDC. I had actually gone. I was my second interview with the FBI. I worked as a victim advocate with the Bureau. So those types of things.

06:36
sound great to society, but when you're looking at HR and you're looking at, this is the girl that's running the lab right next to you, they didn't want that as part of their culture. So I was like, okay, I'm at this point, I'm really just starving. I need to eat, right? On my own, in the words of Taylor Swift. And I was like, okay, what can I do that will bring any type of substance? I do have this money from model stop traffic and that book tour. And

07:04
I have no idea how to run a business, but I'm at this point where I need to, or else this isn't going to last me too much longer. So I got really big into physical health before I got into mental or spiritual health. And mostly because after my trauma, I had scars and wounds and pain, and this is before my yoga journey started. So I very much was like, okay, I want to be in control of who gets to hear my story. Because it really is an honor to hear my story and to hear.

07:31
how I got out of it, how I survived, the mentality that came with it. And if I'm walking on the street and I have these wounds or these scars, people automatically are like, what happened to you, Er? And before even knowing my name. So I built the apothecary because of herbalism and being able to naturally heal yourself. A really big thing that I advocate whenever I'm talking about the physical part of my healing is the fact that I didn't use

07:59
any substances on a Western medication scale to move past my healing. So I didn't take Xanax. I didn't take any depressants. I didn't take anything of that nature. And I was still able to go through what a majority of people can't survive and find happiness, find healing in a natural homeopathic type of way from there. Flying with air originally was just herbalism. It was apothecary. I used my organic chemistry to big up.

08:28
skincare products to be able to heal the body. You would never know looking at me now, even though we're on a podcast and yours is visual, mine's not visual, that this happened to me. And as I grew flying with air over the last six years, I discovered around year four that physical wasn't enough. And that's when I was like, okay, let's get into this mental health type of thing. Let's get into this spiritual portion of healing. And that's where

08:56
I would say God leaned me into what my current life path is and what the chapter I do with like psychotherapy. It's amazing how.

09:06
Just the evolution of life, right? Like what you go through and what it evolves into and how the journey changes. Flying with air, herbalism, obviously we're big supporter of plant-based alternatives. We wanna make the alternative the regular. Touch a little on that. What are some of, like you said, which is super uncommon, you healed yourself without any Western medicine, which I don't know if I know anyone that's ever done that.

09:34
Give some examples of just for our audience, just some like herbal remedies that are your go-tos or were at that time or something you recommend to people. So I could have herbal remedies all day long, but some of the bigger things that really helped me through like digestion. So I had a lot of digestion issues through the modeling industry, because I was hard on my body to be able to stay that skinny. Like right now I'm about 120 pounds.

10:04
When I was actively modeling, I was like 107. And that is not a healthy weight for someone that's five foot nine of my frame. So to stay that skinny really put a lot of pressure on my digestive system and my immune system. And then after the trafficking experience, I came out of that experience with 85 pounds and they did actually use substances against me to be able to keep me in that type of like state. So with that, I really love John the Conquerors.

10:32
as far as like any type of upset stomach, especially if you are like gluten intolerant or you have any issues with like heavy meals. The witch's root is also a really good one. That's actually from my native homeland, it's so Scottish. And you can find that in a lot of highland areas in like Northern Europe. And then for places like Miami where this is, they wanna stay healthy, but they don't have access to a lot of herbalism.

10:58
Then, you know, stick with your basics. Stick with turmeric and ginger. Cheesecloths actually work just as well as taking them as supplements. So if you have any type of gastral pain or let's say scarring, I will take a cheesecloth, which is just a fancy word for the white rag and I will soak it in ginger and turmeric and then just make it smell nice or a little bit more pleasant like a chamomile or a lavender.

11:26
And I will actually wrap my stomach or I will wrap wherever I got burned or scarred. I'm always burning myself with a curling iron to help that. I mean, I think that's a great example. Cause I.

11:40
Every woman I know has burned themselves with curling iron. All right, so there's some good remedy choices. So what about now? Is there anything that you keep in your daily regimen for wellness? Daily? If we're just sticking with herbalism, or do you wanna expand into practices too? Let's do both. Let's expand into practices. Okay. So I'm a big advocate in, I drink hibiscus tea every single morning and evening.

12:11
And that is purely because I was so acne prone and even cystic acne whenever I was a teenager, which was really horrible if you're trying to be in the model industry. And you would never know that about me now. Hibiscus is something that is like a requirement for me. And then I would say like, just to go into practices, I'm a huge advocate of yoga and meditation and breath work, because what you're doing on the inside is going to reflect on the outside. For sure.

12:40
When I was even in Columbia in November for 45 days, like the latter half of October and into November, I was meditating for three hours a day and then I was doing a sauna or yoga twice a day. And I would say that was probably the best looking physically I had, not just because we're moving our bodies around, but because our cortisol levels were so much lower and I was building up these new neuro pathways that were connecting things from my previous traumas.

13:08
And not even my complex trauma, but the trauma from childhood, the trauma from building a business every six years, like that chronic stress, we torture her body so much. And they're going to tell me, you've been telling me all day, chaotic energy. It's like, the first thing I said to him was like, Chris, do we need to breathe? Like air? Breathe? Little breathwork session before we record.

13:35
So all of those things have really just reset me to be able to go out and explore. And I'm very much more in my feminine energy these days. But when I need to step into that masculine energy and go build something like the master class or work with a client, I need to have this framework and this foundation before I can actually do that. So let's touch on some of you mentioned yoga, breath work, all these different modalities that you tap into. What was your journey?

14:05
because your background is very science, which in my experience, those people aren't into the alternative typically. It's science, black and white, where you're venturing out into the unknown per se.

14:21
What was that process? What, how did you go from organic chemistry to your yoga certification, breath work, neuro-linguistic programming? Would you say like pain was the motivator to learn more about these things because you wanted to make changes for yourself or was it you wanted to help other people? Kind of how did those doors open and evolve? Pain's always a great motivator, but it's not the best motivator. No, it's very motivating, but it's not a...

14:50
It's not a, you're not in your flow state if you're operating on a pain. There we go, Chris. So I'll back up just a little bit and give you even stronger of like why I was in my Western before the Eastern is my mother. She was a nurse before she went back to school to become a physician. And that is my whole family because we're all a family of healers, engineers. Like you choose one or the other.

15:16
And when I decided I wanted to go more into the holistic or spiritual routes, I got that label of like black sheep of the family. I'm like, guys, I own the six figure business. How am I the black sheep? And with that, I had to reframe that. And that kind of is the NLP in me as well as I started calling myself the golden goat. So that's one thing I want to share with everybody that kind of relates with my story in one aspect or another is.

15:43
You're not the black sheep, you're the golden goat. You're the person breaking generational curses. You're the grave person. You take that courage and run with it. And my personal bridge, it wasn't pain. Pain got me into the physical because that's very alerting. That's very much, okay, we're going to draw all this in and make you do something. But the aspirational was the spiritual part that was actually coming from my customers from flying with air.

16:12
They would come into the stores and I was very active. There were six stores at our peak and you know, they'd want to meet me, which was really strange because I'm actually an introvert at heart. There's a reason that the podcast on who am I is still not visual. I get that very much. Even though I was like, I like how I look. It's just, I'm very introverted at heart. So with that.

16:38
People would come and ask me about my story and they'd be like, that's a very powerful story. Like it's very unheard of because even human trafficking survivors, they only have a quote unquote shelf life of seven years. No way. And then when they get rescued or they are able to escape, they tend to only have three years before they either commit suicide, return to their traffickers, or the exception is actually me. And that's why there's not a lot of.

17:04
human trafficking survivors that are on stage is speaking like me. I can actually say you can do this. And I'm 15 years out of it or 13, somewhere in that range. I'm not great with numbers. I have a weakness, Chris. We all do. Mine is numbers. I lean into that masculine energy for that, but customers were coming to me and asking them my story and they were like, okay, why are you so focused on the physical, like you have more to offer. And back then I didn't know. I didn't realize that. And.

17:33
their blessing into my life, they're pouring into my life as I was helping heal them in this area, but they're helping me heal in a whole different level, whole different dimension. So I went to yoga first and that was my gateway drug as far as the spirituality world was yoga. And it was because of pain, but more importantly, it was because of trust. And when I tell people about yoga,

17:57
And they're like, okay, they see me do these hand stands and they see me bending and contorting and they're like, that looks cool. Why do you do that? And it was because, Hey, my body's learned to trust it. My speaker has learned to connect to myself. My heart, everything is in this flow state versus I originally, I would say, okay, it was for my shoulder. Like my shoulder was always hurting because I was actually hit with a crowbar during my trauma, across my C2 all the way to my thoracic and.

18:26
I was like, okay, they're telling me I'm not going to walk again. I'm not going to run again. I'm not going to be able to do these cool things. And I'm a little bit prideful at least previous areas. There's a dose of that in everybody, right? Or ego. I was like, I can do this. Yoga is nothing. And that was totally wasn't the case. So, but when I was first introduced, they were like, okay, you're going to learn how to trust your body again. And I had no idea what that meant until years later. And I'm like, oh.

18:52
body is such a beautiful tool and if you can connect with it like that is a whole different level of healing. You're 100% because that if someone would have said that to me four years ago three years ago trust your body it's a high bro like the fuck does that mean don't drop the dumbbells on my head when I'm it was like it didn't click but I've done a little yoga in my life and it's definitely I would say it was a gateway drug too I would like to do it more I

19:23
but it rotates in and out. But I think it's something I definitely would like to get more tapped into. It's a different type of exercise. It hits me differently than a normal gym session or something like that does. So you tapped in all these modalities. You have all these certifications, right? You're in grad school right now. What are you studying? You're doing a double master's and doctorate. What's that about? So I'm in grad school. And what made you, you've had success, obviously, right?

19:53
What's the motivator to that? The success comes in waves. It's true. And success is different and I agree. Yeah. You see where I'm going? Oh yeah. So I would say what stepped me into it is I'm actually going to school for psychotherapy, which if you don't know what psychotherapy is, it just means relationships and the relationship that's ultimately the most important relationship you're going to have in this lifetime is with yourself.

20:22
And if you can develop that and be able to heal some of this childhood trauma, maybe you have a complex trauma like I do, maybe you're like me as well and you can have it sprinkled throughout your life.

20:39
Alright, a little technical difficulty, we're good. Chris loves me today so much. We're having little technical issues today. You can tell. Here's coming, let's like ruin all of the technology. Don't worry, there'll be a part two. Okay. So step back into it with psychotherapy and the ultimate relationship being with yourself. And if you can really heal that relationship with yourself, allow, accept, and move forward.

21:08
you can start having the most beautiful relationships with other people. And romance, I mean, healing that relationship with your parents, extended family, friends if you feel like you're very lonely, and that's the field of psychotherapy. Now I got into that based off of the fact that, okay, as I started to grow, the emotional and the mental, and I felt really lonely. There's not anyone walking on this earth with either my name or my story.

21:37
So if you Google me, I'm the only one that shows up and I couldn't find anybody, even as a human trafficking survivor or a former model or someone that went to school that just made me feel like, okay, I belong. And that was the total wrong approach. The approach was supposed to be, I do belong and can I accept myself? I am different. I am this whole different life experience. And I came to this world to have this particular experience.

22:05
So I got really into psychology as a result and started working with human trafficking survivors at first to be able to help them get to where I was. And hopefully surpass me because success is very different for other people. And as I'm working with these survivors, I started working with business women because I was burned out with flying with air. And I loved that entire chapter of my life. All six years were beautiful, but I wasn't happy. And...

22:35
I was doing all this healing for other people and I felt almost like an imposter because I was like, I don't feel healthy anymore. I don't feel happy. And this is not, you know, what I preach and I want to walk and talk and do the whole nine yards. So that was part of that. And I was like, okay, I literally had this moment and it was in 2021 where I was like, okay, I'm ending this relationship and it was a four year relationship. My business is as big as ever.

23:03
And I'm living in Miami, I'm living in the penthouse, like everything looks awesome, right? On paper. And I'm so miserable. I'm crying myself to sleep every single night. I feel like this isn't me. This isn't who I am. So I started picking up different books, like how to break the habit of being yourself because I didn't like myself. And I was like, this sounds accurate. And I started reading different, like how to be the love you seek and different types of books that had to do about relationships with yourself.

23:32
And I was like, I can do this. I do this with the survivors. I want to do this for these women that feel like I do just overworked. And then I got into the concept of polarity and that is my current life chapter, I'm all about polarity. Okay. So I want to get into that and let's since that's what you're working on, I'm seeing that's what you're working on with your clients and stuff too. So touch on what you're doing now. The type of people you're working with. Polarity being.

24:02
2024 theme, I guess you could say, where did that come from? And how are you implementing that with your clients? Give it and give me the basic. I see you on Instagram. I resonate with what you're putting out. I'm interested. What's that process? So can I feed it back to you just for one question? Please. So when I say the word polarity, where does your mind go? I immediately think like light and dark. I'm dark. Yeah. Ooh, like a yin and yang. Yeah. Okay.

24:32
You're on the right track for sure. So just a blink of statement of polarity when we're talking about psychology and we're talking about relationships is we all have this gradients of energy or spirit or soul really depends on how you identify that part of you. That's not the physical. That is your creating it or your polarization and the sun comes up and then the moon comes out.

24:58
type of thing. The night and the day is a really great way to look at it, Chris, because we have these light parts of us, this kind of airy energy. And we also have these kind of dark parts of us, this inner child wounds, the shadow self, the part of you that you're like, I hope nobody finds out about that type of part. And in polarity, the interpersonal part, the part about me, the part about you, Chris, and anyone that's listening.

25:26
is the radical acceptance of every single aspect of who you are. Not just the pretty side that you want to show off to the world or the super intelligent or the super funny, like Chris is pretty funny. He wants to lead, but that, but he also has these other parts. Please. Maybe he's a little bit messy and he doesn't want to show that. Or maybe he has like this dark energy, maybe a fetish in there. All these different parts that we hide from the world, because we're afraid it won't be accepted. Yeah.

25:55
But the radical acceptance of ourselves allows the right type of people to actually come find us. Because so many of us are actually walking in this world, giving off this mask or this show and feeling so lonely, because we're not actually representing who we are. For sure. And that's like the interpersonal part. So the clients that I have with that is where we start everywhere. And I would say, most people are in that position where they're not truly accepting who they are.

26:24
And they feel that loneliness, the depression, the anxiety, the, I miss my mom, but my mom is very frustrating and I can't talk to her about things or that relationship didn't work out because they didn't really see me. They didn't make me feel heard or valued. And that's like part one. Part two is getting into relationships and getting into, okay, we have such a high divorce rate in the United States. And even if you

26:53
can get married because a lot of people won't even get married anymore because of the divorce rate or because they're like onto the next story. My history shows that this isn't going to work out. And polarization within relationship dynamics is a whole new fascinating concept that I learned in psychotherapy where there is a masculine and a feminine energy within all of us. And I don't really love labels. In fact, one of my coined terms is I say labels are violent.

27:22
But for lack of better terminology, masculine and feminine energy is within each of us. So I can get into a little bit, if you want to nerd out with me. So the masculine energy in us is going to be that build. It's going to be that protect, provision and provide. Those three P's are how I really define it. Protect, provision, provide.

27:48
And the masculine energy, that's its goal. That's that caveman mentality. If you want to go way back because our neuroanatomy has actually not changed much at all since caveman times. And that's how I'm going to define masculine versus the feminine in us. That's the creative, that's flow state, that's supportive, soft, it's gentle. It's give me something and I multiply it type of energy. And it's very fun. It's also very chaotic.

28:18
It's the opposite of building. It's very much like we're going to destroy everything and create something and transform something into something new. And both of those live within us. And finding harmony within those two energies within us is what really balances us out as far as our interpersonal. Most people can't get to that point because they're not radically accepting themselves yet. So you're like, society tells me I need to represent myself this way. I can't be soft because I'm a business.

28:47
It was a big thing for me that I'm like, okay, I'm going to this board member meeting and I need to be in the suit. I need to be that powerful. I need to have all the answers to stay firm. I can't be like, I'm on my moon cycle guys. They won't accept that there, right? Versus radical acceptances. No, like I accept all of these parts that are happening right now. Here I am. And in relationships, we, they may be heterosexual, but you can have homeosexual or.

29:17
non-identified relationships and still have this polarity aspect to it. But one person really needs to be leaning into that role of the masculine. And one needs to be leaning into that role of the feminine. I don't necessarily care personally who's doing it, but as long as it's in the secreosity of your personal relationship, can I pretend for a second? Like we're dating. Go for it. Sorry, ladies on hinge. Like just for one moment. Okay. I'll break up with him after.

29:46
So with that, I don't even know if you're single or in a relationship, but either way. So for this moment, I'm so sorry, but you're my masculine presence here. Okay. And I'm going to be your feminine. Just keep it very basic. So Chris goes and he has his businesses and he's out there in the world providing for this household. We'll also pretend we live together for the sake of easiness. And he's having to go hunt.

30:16
And he's having to go protect, right? He's making sure his household is taken care of, that everything's in order. And then he's also setting the direction or the pace for the relationship. Right? He's making all those hard decisions to be able to be like, okay, you're the logical thinker, you're the analytical processor, you're the one that's okay. Here's the tone, here's the speed. This sounds safe. And what that really allows on the opposite side, the polarized side is if you are all the way in that energy.

30:45
the woman or the feminine energy in my case, air, I get to be very soft. I get to have all of this energy to create, to be able to be like, OK, I can support you, but my role isn't that my role is maybe at the home. Maybe it's being an artist. Maybe I have a gallery or I host a podcast or I do all these creative things that allow me to be a little bit more chaotic with my energy and like very self expressive. And as we

31:15
lean into our different polarizations, you lean more into your masculine, I lean more into my feminine, we find a greater value in our relationship because there's a greater span of energy between us. And there may be times where you're like, I want to be soft and feminine from your side. And I have so much of that to give, because I am relaxed, I am well rested, I am my creative flow. And beautiful thing I talk with couples is like the guy feels exhausted after going and building and trying to

31:44
He just wants his head pet on the couch. Scratch his head and let him take him down. It's simple. We're simple creatures. Hold him, let him watch his show. And women love to do that because women, we are feminine energy. I won't say women, but feminine energy loves to do that because we love to nurture. And we love to be able to like, okay, whether you're a cook or not a cook, there's something that you're like, you want to see them happy. And for me, I love to cook. So like that expression of that smile, the scratches, just that softness.

32:14
There's a reason women love puppies and cats and like to take care of things and to love and build like as far as like creates not build us in like structure. So we're gatherers. Like we want to go shopping. We want to be able to build a home and make it a home versus a masculine just wants to make a house. So funny. I'm literally thinking I have we have a corporate house. My partner's in Orlando and my business partner's got engaged. His fiance has been.

32:42
Feminizing the house in a great way. Like it's not a bachelor pad anymore. She's really brought a nice feminine touch to it. But just watching her, every time I go back to Atlanta, there's a nice little plant or something. Just like you said, there's just something that three of us would never think of as men and are masculine where I welcome it. It's like a nice, refreshing. Brotherhood? Yes.

33:11
Literally. So do you work with a lot of couples and what you do? I do. I work with a lot of couples that have also experienced the breaking of this. So infidelity or a sexless sexless marriage. Not even sure if I'm allowed to say that. I don't know the rating of the podcast. I think we're good. We're good. Okay. I won't cuss if that helps. You can speak freely. Thank you. And flow.

33:39
So I work with the man fidelity that's happened in couples, sexless marriages, commitment phobic men are one of my favorite people to work with because they don't have that polarization within themselves. And they also have a little bit of some type of past history. I'm not going to use the word trauma because it might not be that far, but they have this past experience where they're like the access between their mind and their heart and their spirit is just broken.

34:08
And so I work with men that are commitment phobic. And then I find out after working three or four months with them, they're like, I met this girl and I'm going to marry her. And I'm like, whoa, okay, slow down. I was like, it really only takes about 60 days to rewire your subconscious, which goes back to that Western. Let's jump on that because. Obviously now we're all used to, we, I want to feel better now. I want this now, right. Which is where the pharmaceuticals have come in.

34:38
What's the process of someone working with you if you're saying it's 60 days? Cause I think I'm completely new to all of this and I'm listening to you. I'm probably going to be like overwhelmed, intimidated. What are these? What's NLP? What, you know what I mean? Break it down. And that's where I think let's touch on like, I find you an Instagram. I'm a commitment phobic man. Let's say we broke up. Yeah. Yes. I'm like, Hey.

35:08
I need your help. What's next? What do I do? Do I go to one of your retreats? Do I do zoom calls with you? How do you assess me and what modality may be best? Okay. So you being a man, it's going to be very important for you to actually lead this. If you're wanting to lead in your masculine energy and you're wanting to stay in the energy or grow it. So I never force anything on any of my clients, but the particular approach here is

35:36
you're going to always need to feel like you are the one in control. And especially since we want to build that muscle in you. So let's say you found me on Instagram, Eric Kramer, and you're like, okay, this woman, first thing you're going to notice is like, there's red roses everywhere on my Instagram. That's my calling card. That's something that is very spiritual, but very meaningful for me. And if you click on to, let's say the links here to see retreats, you're going to see the masterclass.

36:04
And then you're going to see one-to-one working. Now it also depends on where you're at in your life, right? Chris, you work a lot. You might not be able to go to a retreat for five days in Costa Rica or Columbia. You might be like, girl, I need help now in this state. So I do a lot of virtuals because of that, including the master class. My top recommendation is if you are a man or woman to jump in that class, because it's going to really help that interpersonal foundation.

36:32
That way we can work one-to-one with the relationship part because being commitment phobic has nothing to do with women. It has nothing to do with men. It doesn't matter who you're dating. It has everything to do with you. Literally. And I would say, okay, let's start this process. I'm going to, we have discovery calls as well. I will either take the discovery call myself for someone from my team. And that's not to say that you're not important, that it's not me, but it's just, we want to make sure we get the best route for you. And.

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When we're talking on the call, we really are figuring, okay, what's your past history? Where are you wanting to go? And where you presently are? I'm very much a big person on the let's stay present. And a lot of the anxiety and the worry that we have in our life is we're either living in the past or living in the future. And I can actually bring you to the present. That's where we're gonna find your joy and your happiness. That's actually where the work begins. So with that, I will say, okay.

37:30
I am a marriage between the Western and the Eastern. That's why this works. That's why it's so different. And that's why I get the results quicker than just being one or the other because that assessment, it was like, okay, if you are all Western and I start throwing yoga at you, you're gonna be gone, right? And if you're all quote unquote woo, and I started throwing, okay, let's talk to your subconscious and rebuild your neuro pathways, you're still gonna be like, goodbye. Yeah. So.

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really trying to meet them where they're at, it's going to be critical. And then the way I've developed these programs or these one-to-ones is even though I'm using all the modalities that I've experienced, cause I'm a big. Nerd, to be honest with you, like I've already read 15 books and we're like February 1st. So like love to read. And with that, I was like, okay, but I need to be able to use the things like NLP and be able to access your subconscious faster.

38:27
without you maybe even knowing it, which does require a lot of trust. And that's where I'm like, okay, I don't want you to feel intimidated by me. If you look at me, you'll be like, no, I can take you. Right? But mostly it's okay. We need to become best friends with your subconscious, whether we do that on a spiritual level or whether we do that on a Western level. And to do that is to first accept that you have one. It's that shadow self, the light self, but also

38:55
understand some of the critical rules that come with your subconscious. Your subconscious doesn't know language. Your subconscious only knows feelings. Your subconscious doesn't know that anyone else in this world exists. It thinks that you're the only one in the entire planet, which if you really dive deep into that concept, how you interact with other people is just the interaction with yourself on a subconscious level. And what really gets people is

39:24
Subconscious only has one job and only cares about one thing. Do you want to take a guess or you want me to? My guess is survival. Survival. Here we go. Let me think of this. I got a little bit of knowledge. I trust that. And again, survival, subconscious survival. And I'll even say protect. Subconscious just wants to protect you. And that is very primal in its nature.

39:53
So what we've experienced through the relationships, not just with other people, but our relationships in the world, with nature, with animals, with our ecosystem, has caused different types of abnormalities or little traumas or little hiccups to where our subconscious was always just trying to protect us. And you talk violently or about like abuse as a child, or you go and let's say that...

40:20
We're in a high school where there was a lot of mean kids and like they were always saying bad, rude rumors about you and you would fight them back. Your subconscious didn't know that. It took that as you saying whatever you said to somebody else to yourself. And that's the rewiring we have to really start with. So the first part of the masterclass even, that whole 90 minute lesson, and you get bricks, I promise, but that whole 90 minute lesson is about rewiring your subconscious. That way we can actually move into how do we move forward?

40:49
now that we're best friends with our subconscious. That makes sense to me. Because I feel like I've done that with myself, or I constantly am working on that as...

41:00
What am I putting in? What am I saying to myself? What is the voice in my head saying? What is that paying attention to the self-talk? Because for a long time it was negative. And I don't know if that's natural in us or that's just the world weighing us down. But I feel like, why is it so common that we all have negative self-belief, negative subconscious? I guess like you said, childhood stuff, we're all operating. I look at it like,

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You're a kid, you get bullied.

41:34
That doesn't feel good, right? So you put on a mask, you cope in some way, and we do that year upon year, and we lose ourselves in the entire process. Do you think it's not until you change that subconscious programming that you can really have the profound?

41:50
Improvement. So you've gotten to the fourth role, which I'm great because I didn't pre-plan him. He just got there naturally. But the subconscious runs the show. Your conscious is just the executor of the show. And the really good way to say this is if it walked into a situation and it just made you really angry and you know this person has been on your nerves for some time now and you're like, okay. Now you walk in and they've done something else.

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and you know that it's harming you because your subconscious is attacked, but you didn't actually go off on them. You didn't actually attack them. You know, you got stopped. That's that executive functioning. That's the conscious. The consciousness is not running the show. The subconscious is running the show and we have this like gatekeeper saying, we're not going to do that next. So to go back, what you were saying is I felt like it's always been this way. Maybe it's childhood, maybe it's like something that happened in adolescence because our one to seven years are very critical.

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But our inner being and to like really hone in on terminology, that inner being is that spirit in you. That's that thing that you can't touch. It's not the tangible. And that's the voice that you're hearing, Chris. That's the essence that has been here since you entered into this world. Now we all have one common trauma and that common trauma was being born. And that was the first time.

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feeling that we had into this existence, that first pain. So we will start that journey. The moment we come out of our mother's wounds and we don't even remember that unless you want to get into like past life aggressions, but that's a whole different episode. So as we're entering into the world, that's like a first little feeling. Cause again, we don't know language at that time. We just know this.

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This is hurt. This is bright. This is painful. There's red everywhere. And I don't even know the word red yet. This is not normal. And as we get into our infancy, we actually are not knowing language still. But the only job of an infant is to learn, right? To experience. And since it hasn't been able to learn language yet, it's still just learning through experience of feelings. And...

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We cry as babies and we experience all these different types of sensations of, okay, the mother's milk does feel good. This is strange, but why did I feel the pain of being hungry? Why am I tired? I was never tired before. So we're picking up all of these micro like pains, but also micro joys. And when we get into a little bit more of our childhood and our adolescence is when we get the relational pain and most people are so hyper-focused on the relational pain because they want.

44:36
something that's outside of themselves. Again, we're not, we haven't gotten to that radical acceptance part yet. And then we're like, okay, if I can just fix this, if I can get the perfect wife, if I can get the perfect husband, if my boss to like me, those types of feelings, then everything else will go away. But you can have all of that in it, not go away. And I, and this is where it gets a little controversial with people is I'm actually thankful for my experience as a survivor, because all of that was stripped away.

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where all I had left in those moments, like literally in the dark captured, all I had was my conscious and my subconscious. And that disassociation process really allowed me to be like, okay, I do radically accept like this part. And this part actually helped me survive the circumstance. And that was not a part that most people would be able to be like, okay with. So rewiring those little parts actually is setting or foundation.

45:33
being able to communicate with our subconscious to our conscious, to where you're not going to have that negative talk. It's going to fall away over that 60 days. Because that inner being that we started with way before we even came into the world, that energy, that soul, that spirit, whatever you want to call it, the all knowing it's actually was here signing up for this journey in one way or another, and it was like, okay, I have infinite possibilities. I have infinite.

46:02
Goodness, it didn't, no pain existed yet. So we're getting in a little bit into spirituality of a lot of attraction, a lot of resonance, a lot of people that if you want to go to Western, cause I told you I'll always marry them. Think of Einstein's law of repetitivity or think of Isaac Newton's like gravitational and like force laws and physics, like all of it's the same stuff, we just use different labels for it. So with that, if you start.

46:29
really going into the subconscious rewiring, you're going to be able to set that foundation, you're going to be able to move forward, the negative talks are going to fall away because you're communicating with your subconscious and it's running the show. It's only always wanting to protect you. It doesn't know anything else exists. And then now that we're here, we have this radical acceptance. That's how we move into, I would say probably like day 30 is where we start to see, okay, now we can start working with other people. And

46:58
I do a little bit of a bootcamp in the beginning, if it's one to one, like we're working together twice a week. We're not working once a week, which is like traditional, like if you go to coaching or therapy, they're like once a week or once a month and I'm like, I'll be here forever. I don't want to see you forever. I love you, Chris. I don't want to see you forever. And my job is to make sure that you like stand on your own again. And like my purpose, my like calling, if you will, and

47:23
to not keep you around, which is very not Western. Western wants to keep you there versus I'm banking and I know it and it's worked for me is if I help Chris, Chris is gonna go tell Chris's closest best friends and his family and the marriage is falling apart and they tried everything. So I don't have to worry about that. And then he's my little walking testimony and I'm so proud of you Chris for your journey. Right, so you're here first folks.

47:50
You reprogram the subconscious. That's where all the magic happens. So let's tell people, like, where do they find your books? Where do they find you? And then what's next? What's the future or what are you working on? It's like, I'm a lot of things, but I didn't tell you I was a psychic. That one I didn't say on air. The foreseeable future besides reading more books. Reading more books. So let's start here. I've wrote seven books.

48:18
And two of them became the best sellers. So the model stop traffic and the trafficking aftermath are what were mentioned here. But I do have books on like herbalism as well, because we mentioned that earlier. And even a poetry book, which actually has to do about my traumatic experience in lyric. So those are all found on Amazon, on any type of bookstore shelves. I don't know if model stop traffic is still in like Barnes and Noble, but some, a lot of libraries even because model stop traffic has been out for 10 years.

48:48
So like any type of source that way, but Amazon or even my website, the flying with air.com website, Instagram, you'll be able to find those books. The Who Am I podcast, you can find anywhere that you stream podcasts, just like this one. And then finally, what's next? We do have the opening of the masterclass again. We are doing it for February, actually starting on the sixth.

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which I don't know when this is going to air. That's open the sixth through the eighth, and then we're going to do it again on a bi-monthly basis. So by the time you're listening to this, you might be able to catch the next one. Unless Chris is just like on top of it. It might be up by then. So Chris is on top of it. Thank you. We got to make sure the production team can clean up our audio. We had a little issue, but we'll be good. I have a lot of energy. I'm just, it could be like a full accountability over here, which is something like women really, that's a whole different part of the polarization is accountability.

49:43
I'm going to leave that alone. But nonetheless, the masterclass is opening. It is all about polarity, that inner self work. It's a three day journey. It's live classes. I'm actually there. You get access to other resources, the books you get for free when you sign up. And then also the one-to-one coaching comes with one session when somebody signs up. And then you get to be part of our community. Cause we have a huge WhatsApp group that is just like women.

50:09
or that are overworked or burned out or the man that was commitment phobic that wanted to rewire or the marriage that needed to be saved. So I'm always throwing things in there, both on the spirituality as well as the Western to be able to keep us going, because it's a journey, not just a one and done at the thing. So the masterclass, and then of course, if you wanna find me on Instagram and work one-to-one, like you can go book an appointment, I'll see you there. Hell yeah. Folks, you know where to find her, Instagram.

50:38
Flying with Air dot com, Air Kramer for Instagram or Flying with Air CO for the Instagram. We'll put all the links in the bio too. I encourage you all to go follow her, dive a little bit deeper. Tons of good information, tons of helpful information. And yeah, I'm interested. I'm curious now to check your books out. Honestly, something I'd like to learn a little bit more about, but I'm sure we'll have another sit down here next time you're down in Miami. Definitely.

51:08
Do you want me to sign off like I sign off on mine? Yeah, go for it. Do a special guest sign off today.

51:18
There we go. Thank you so much for healing and growing with me today. Love it. Have a good one, y'all. Thank you podcast. Later.